I have been stewing quite a bit in the last few weeks over a comment I read in response to a blogpost on anothers sewing blog. The comment quite dismayed me and I felt discouraged and disparaged ( enough dis`s for now ) .I should point out the comment was not directed at me personally at all it was just a generalized comment. I don`t want to say at all what the comment was or the blogspot etc just that the comment was well, not nice. I wish I could say that I totally misinterpreted the comment but there was no mistaking the disdainful/superior tone .
So everyone is different. We all have different style aesthetics, different budgets, different blogging ethos , different opportunites to sew, different clothing needs, different opinions on the importance of fashion, etc etc. That doesn`t mean one is better , just different.
That`s all I wanted to say now. I think I feel better for getting that off my chest.
I'm with you on this! It is sad that people feel the need to leave negative comments on blogs. Totally unnecessary!
ReplyDeleteWell said
ReplyDeleteSome people need a reminder of the good old advice "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"!
ReplyDeleteSorry something managed to get to you. I'm curious about it now though ;P
It is awful to receive negative comments. I've had everything; from "you hardly have a model's figure" (after I mentioned I had modelled) to saying that my creations only look good "mostly thanks to your locations" to being accused of "showing off" because I had to adjust the waist of my skirt to be smaller, or showing off because I take a picture in a pretty location or showing off because I am tall. I've been told I am "not that good a seamstress really" because I don't have to adjust my patterns much for size. The latest was "I was simply amazed that your dress won that competition". I've lost count of the number of times I've been told the commenter "would never choose that colour". I've been likened to a hideous character from Beavis and Butthead in one of my Pattern Magic creations. I was told my toes looked weird in a photo of my selfmade tights.
ReplyDeleteI usually delete negative comments, and try to get over it (obviously not very successfully! since here I am unloading it!) unfortunately it is the negative comments that stay with you and continue to hurt.
That is really terrible Carolyn , I have left a reply on your blog.
DeleteI am so sorry that you have been stewing Janine. It is hard to let some things go. In fact, I just deleted a short description of a colleague who is the bitch of the century...see? I can't let it go and I'm retired from that job! :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes it helps to write a response and post it on YOUR blog. It doesn't need to be detailed...it can just open a discussion about blogging etiquette.
Finally, this is for Carolyn-what you describe is awful!! You are gorgeous, and a lovely sewer. And a genuinely nice person. As for the color comment, I may have actually said to you that I can't wear a certain color but it looks great on you.
Janine, thank you so much for your sweet comment, and I came back to apologise for my ranting... I hate negativity and I should not treat your blog as a therapist's couch, you do not deserve that; so I'm so sorry. You can delete it if you like.
ReplyDeleteI really have very little to complain about, since I do receive such lovely comments from lovely fellow seamstresses most of the time, and out of the negative comments some are just from people who maybe are in a bit of a hurry and it comes out sounding off (I've probably been guilty of that one too) But there is not doubt that there is that nasty small population that sees it as their duty to "put you in your place"
I hope the comment you are referring to in this post was not directed at you. Once again, sorry for my brain-burst, and I wish you Happy Sewing!
It's pretty grim that people feel compelled to leave negative comments, and I'm sure you know that it says way more about them than it does you. But it also makes me really disappointed; my husband often comments about negative things on photography sites, and I am always telling him how positive and supportive the sewing community is, and 99.9% of the time that is true. Please don't let these jerks get to you.
ReplyDeleteAh, concern noted. After many years of blogging, I am fortunate that I haven't had too many of those negatives. Of the past few years, I do have a particular reader that always feels compelled to give her opinion just past the point of comfort! I've learned to always email her in response with a perfectly lovely comment. I sometimes wonder if her approach is simply a reflection of her own struggles with life.
ReplyDeleteYou know it is so hard to put yourself out there and try to share your experiences and have people think that it makes you a target for all of their opinions. I've been fortunate, i think my little musings are usually below the notice of most and the people that have noticed me have been kind. I think that most blog negativity is pure jealousy- I know I'm jealous of alot of the lives I think I know from bloggers, but it should really spur us on to try new techniques and ideas- not tunr us on eachother. Some people are just insensitive and have no clue.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jane. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling better about blogging.
Finally catching up on reading and commenting on blog posts.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you have come across such a negative response, I've read a couple of comments on other blogs that were horribly rude and hurtful - i find it hard to believe that people can write such things.
I hope that your feather dress is progressing well.